Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
