Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
