My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
