Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
