every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I need to align my fucking chakras
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
