doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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