I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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