we have officially lost it.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
