my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
