What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He shit in the fireplace
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
