I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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