if only i could text you this smell
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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