Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Randomize