either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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