I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
