I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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