How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
