I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize