terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
