but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
