Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Everclear isn't food dammit
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
