he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
