Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
