dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
