He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
