kristin has been a bad kristin
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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