im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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