I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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