Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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