She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
