i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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