Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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