$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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