He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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