I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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