listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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