I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
