STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
