come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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