Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize