from now on my penis is your penis
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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