I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize