were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my being single is dangerous.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
