they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I think I just sharted jello shots
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
