Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
