How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
