Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
