Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
