her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I believe in your delicious
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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