Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so explain again why im purple
no
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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