we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
