There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I have post one night stand depression
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