I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
