so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize