Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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