Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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