I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
