he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
