Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
