I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
