hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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