Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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