i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
