I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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