I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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