I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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