as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
